ruminations of the day

So what do I do on my lil breaks? I think =] Yea..think think

So, I figured a couple things out..
(not Biblical..this is how i try to understand hard questions about Christianity)
1) During the hardest times where everything seems to be broken, then God's hands and heart can be seen. Even more today I saw God's hands, and that is good for me. =] It's true most everyone in the bible saw God's loving heart and became healed or touched when they were in the worst state ever whether bleeding or lame or leper or daughter's death. So, miracles happen in the dingiest places in our life.
2) Why do Christians have a hard lifestyle? Why is it that it seem that non-believers have a much easier life while Christians dont?
The Bible already says it's easier for a camel to go through a needle than a rich man to go to the gates of heaven. Same way. Our lives as Christians are hard because we don't live by the world's standards. The world is easy compared to what God has called for us. Our lives aren't just lives on earth but a spiritual life, which means that what we do on earth is reflected in the spiritual battles or etc that we can't see! Thus, we are not only alive on earth, but alive in (weird to say) a different realm, the spiritual one. That is why our lives are more challenging. We aren't just faced with hardships such as rejection from a job, but there are other forces that are working against us and for us.
3) So #2 got me thinking about our roles as Christians on earth. What is our role?
I've heard lots of things from soldiers to generals to children to servants to etc.. So yes we could be doing all those because as ambassadors we do all that! =D So, when we had given our lives over, we became part of God's kingdom. Of course being in his kingdom means we must be trained to be part of it. This earth is our training ground, but it's also the battle. So, what do ambassadors do. Ambassadors have a different nationality and go to different countries to represent their nations. They don't assimilate to the new culture, but wholly represent their identities. Crazy no? Ambassadors aren't slaves or do the dirty work either (those are angels). We represent our kingdom, in order that we can bring more into our kingdom. Why do we bring them in? Because the kingdom we represent gives life while the other brings death. Of course we've never really been to our kingdom, but we grow in faith by reading Bible, Bible studies, community, church etc so that we can be more part of the kingdom. Plus, this kingdom got good benefits. Come on who else can give eternal life while giving unconditional love. =]
4) Lastly, I thought today also about Obedience.
I honestly hate that word because I really love my own freedom to do anything I want even if it means (yes) doing bad stuff. So, i struggle through this over and over again. But, today I started to see a lil into this. What came to mind when I was talking to my mom was the story of Peter (Could be Paul..dont remember) in the ship who all day fished and couldn't at all catch anything. It became too late to get anymore fish and they actually started to dry their nets. But, then Jesus comes along and says, 'Peter go through on the right side.' This part becomes weird. Because, Peter as a fisherman knew that the fish don't come out then and knew the patterns of fish. So why is Jesus saying to cast out a net when really there shouldn't be any fish? Yet, Peter does obey and BAM there are so many fish he asks his friends to come and help cuz the net was breaking. Obedience, yes it's about giving up my free will. Yes, its about letting go of all those things I want such as wealth, comfortable life, having that great STI (crazy car), or even the great house I always dreamed. Why? BEcause my life is for a different kingdom now. I am a princess of God's kingdom, and a princess doesn't live for herself nor do princes. We obey because it's not just ourselves on the line, but now as a higher positioned child of God, we are putting other souls on the line. But, really when we obey it allows miracles to happen. IT allows US to understand God more. It gives us a chance to see the heart of God. Really, Peter in the end saw the love of God through his beloved fishing. Fishing was his one way to life, and Christ gave more than abudantly to Peter. Why? Jesus showed Peter that He loved Peter, just as he was. Jesus came to the level of Peter by giving him fish and roasting it together for breakfast. Through that experience Peter ended up giving up his life for Christ. Now, can we obey?

...too many thoughts..i should stop thinking in the showers.. -.-