11 hours of work

Lately, work has been very tiring and long...VERY LOONNNGGGG!!! -.-
But in the midst of all the tiring long days, somehow God manages to find me and speak his soft gentle words at me or blow gently into my heart. Those times are times i love to treasure in my heart.

So I work at an autistic school as an education specialist. Its more or less like babysitting while trying to repeatedly teach them to do certain behavioral things.
It's funny to think that my conception of being normal has been challenged and changed during these past two weeks. I work and live 6 hrs of my life with them, only to realize that these kids are as normal as anyone else. They're not mentally and behaviorally disabled to me, their themselves. Just as I am Hoam, they are Austin, Rain, Alasan...etc. It's funny that this is where I've found a place with no stereotypes, racial cliches, or gender differences as a means of identity. God tells us to love regardless of what their given identities are; to look beyond their appearances and love them for their hearts.

At work we had a staff meeting about behavioral stuff. It was like psych 1 all over again.. boring. But, one of my coworkers were talking about one of our kid who has a behavioral problem of being belligerent. He beats people up when they dont give him what he wants. He's the scary, big one at school everyone is afraid of. But, my staff coworker was saying that in public he will beat people up to get what he wants, but its been hard to change that behavior and show him that when he gets beat up he will have radical consequences of jail, tazer and police action. But, she was saying that once when he couldn't get what he wanted at a mall he was right about to jump someone, but she had to with all her strength pull him down harshly. She said that it hurts her so much to have to do this everytime. This got me thinking about God and our sins. Sins only hurt us and hurt others probably more than just beating someone or ourselves up. Sin has an almost killing effect on our souls, and yet we keep on going. But, God of course being our Father can't bear to see us even get a scratch on our knees. But, when we have rejected his urges to stop us from sinning (out of love), and can't see the love beyond his actions, he will allow punishments as a way to show us that sin hurts. It's like a child putting his hands on top of the stove when hot to see what fire feels like, but his daddy everytime catches him to grab the child's hand before it reaches the stove. But, when the child doesnt stop trying the dad will stop his interferences so that the child can witness the punishment of putting his hand in fire: a burnt hand. But, what really struck me was my coworkers word, "It hurts." The more I thought about it, the more I realize the depth of pain God must feel to see his children have to bear the punishment. God would rather interfere countless times so that we dont get hurt (thus Jesus), but we wont mature if we can't learn. A dad is hurt when his little child gets a scrape on his knees, how much would it have hurt when he had to see his child put his hand in the fire and to hear the screams and cries of his child when the pain got to him.